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Catch Brennamania!

What is Brennamania? Well, before I tell you about Brennamania, I feel
I must tell you about the symptoms of Brennamania. Some of these
symptoms are: Perfect, George Hamilton-esque white teeth, an
unabashedly and unbiased view of the Reds, perfectly coiffed hair, and
the slight inability to pronounce Rs (example – Error = Erra )

Now Brennamania is usually preceded by an acute case of Segititis.
Don't worry too much about Segititis as it's pretty harmless. The most
you can suffer from is a slight case of gas and dizziness.

Now there are a couple of different variations of Brennamania. There
is the very potent strain of Brennamania, which consists of a double
dose of Brennaman. This is the pure strain, the "omega strain" of
Brennamania, if you will. If you are going to be afflicted with
Brennamania; this is the strain for you. You will be left with
perfectly white teeth and the desire to ask people "How 'bout that
dad?"

If one isn't careful, you could get a mutant strain of Brennamania.
You could catch Brennabrantleymania, which isn't as viral as the
original strain of Brennamania, but could be very dangerous. Symptoms
of Brennabrantleymania include fondly reminiscing about your past in
baseball, and peppering your play-by-play with Ross Perot-like non
sequiturs.

Once in a rare while, they might catch Nuxhabrennamania, a little seen
strain of the 'mania. This is also known as a classic strain, a
pre-curser to the now powerful Brennamania. It used to bring a warm
feeling to your heart. Unfortunately, this strain is pretty rare and
difficult to find.

All these strains might sound scary, but remember this: there is no
chance of ever catching Grandewelshmania. Yet.

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